The new iPhone 5 went on sale yesterday (Saturday) in Newport and the Island’s chavs were queuing outside the phone shops waiting to spend their benefits on them.
One chav, known only as ‘Shaz’, told The Candy Press; I’ve had to miss Jeremy Kyle repeats just to be here and get these phones, at £70 a month they ain’t cheap!”
“That’s all our child benefits going on the phone, Bazza is gonna have to knock us up tonight else we won’t be able to afford the next upgrade!”
Shaz added; “Bazza couldn’t be arsed to come and queue up, he said he’ll mug one off a nerd later on.”
Apple CEO Steve Bigjobs, apologised in advance for the poor quality of the phone signal but promised to have solved these issues by the time iPhone 6 is released, some time in 2013.