The Island’s cannabis users are being urged to only buy their weed from Island suppliers, in order to help the local economy.
Harry Monk, aged 22 and from somewhere a bit shit, told The Candy Press; “I know that it’s sometimes tempting to buy cheaper and stronger skunk from mainland dealers, but Island weed is grown using hyrophonics equipment bought from local legal high shops and electricity stolen from Southern Electric.”
He added that; “during the Island’s big summer events there may be more choice of who to buy weed off of, but these lot will be nowhere to be seen during the long winter months when you’re desperate!”
Mr Monk also sells moody watches and can be contacted at Newport JobCentre plus on Wednesday afternoons. He is recognisable as he has two white Staffordshire Bull Terriers and no teeth.