Wanted Ads

CAR Share
Something fast preferred. Meet outside Barclays Bank two o’clock sharp next Tuesday. Bring your own balaclava, share of profits and petrol money

£ POA

PAN 1864

TAXI Drivers Required
Immediate start. Criminal record essential as must be prepared to demand large sums of money for what is, after all, only a lift home.

£ Neg

COWES 2846

VIGILANTE
Preferably renegade cop with own pistol, bat and with a bad attitude for apocalypse survival team. I have no experience but am a keen role player and fast learner.

£ POA

RYDE 4027

MAGIC Card Collection
Fire Donkey, Jailbait Thug and the Mucus Guardian. Needed to destroy the evil Lord of Dragon Doom and save the world from eternal darkness. Call Jan or Adam.

£NEG

VENTNOR 2765

DECENT Dealer
Please help. I’m new to the Island and looking to make special friends. Have cash. Apply Newport Police Station, High Street, Newport.

£ NEG

NEWPORT 5999

TRAINING Needed
For several management staff at mediocre hotel in busy tourist spot. Any help would be appreciated as we lack the skills needed to run a successful establishment.

£ NEG

SHANKLIN 3813

LES Dennis DVD
One with him talking about his collection of garden shears to drown out the wife watching X-factor. That or a handgun.

£ NEG

CHALE 5545

DEAD or Alive
Man responsible a slew of cat killings in the Shanklin area, only asking on behalf of extremely lazy police officials.

£ NEG

SHANKLIN 1259

CASE of Stella
Many cans needed to bring out my more outgoing side. String vest essential as is ability to pretend it didn’t happen.

£ DONATIONS

SHANKLIN 6523

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