In an exclusively overheard conversation with a park bench and possibly several sparrows, Isle of Wight Festival ‘Boss Man’ John Giddings has revealed the secrets to band booking policy.
A Candy Press representative was lucky enough to be relieving themselves in a nearby bush when Giddings, or God as he demands his minions call him, was overheard laughing with the local wildlife population.
“It’s really simple” said Johnny. “I print out Radio 1 and Radio 2’s playlist around October and chuck a couple of darts at it and that’s the line up sorted. Or if I’m feeling daring I might close my eyes and spit at the same sheet. I have occasionally used MTV and the like as well, by scrolling through the channels until I find something that sounds like the most bland rock band from the 60s or 70s.”
After a couple of tweets from some of the sparrows Gidders continued “Well yes I do rely on my little black book from the 80’s and if I can remember anyone who might have said hello to me then I book them as well, irrelevant of their talent or popularity. Oh, and then I must make sure that bloke from Starsailor gets at least three sets”
Giddlydooders also revealed his love of commercial life;”I’m aiming to be the most sponsored and corporate festival on the planet. I noticed a little bit of soul creeping in last year but I’m going to stamp that right out. It may have just been Joss Stone though and that’s fine because she’s crap.”
“Next year I’m going to have the fence, the grass, the trees and the mud sponsored too. I was hoping the Council would like to sponsor the toilets cos they love sh*t so much, but they turned it down saying they wanted nothing to do with toilets of any kind ever again.”
At this point the sparrows were seen to fly away and Jonny stumbled off with a brown paper bag mumbling; “Profit ya bastards!”