Co-op ‘Not Good With Food Or Planning’ Says Hospital

Thirteen Islanders were taken to St. Mary’s Hospital at the weekend after sustaining injuries at the Ryde branch of the Co-op.

Three were treated for shock and discharged; whilst ten others remain having sustained broken limbs, severe bruising or what the Hospital described as ‘impact’ injuries.

The incident occurred shortly after the branch opened its doors at 7am on Saturday (yesterday) morning. All seemed normal at first, until one woman was heard to shout “Quick Fred! Some of the shelves have got stuff on them!”

News of the groceries being on display rather than gathering dust at the back of the store, soon spread and the aisle was quickly jammed with shoppers. Tempers flared as shoppers battled to fill their baskets with items, regardless of whether they wanted them or not.

The shelves quickly emptied and as they did, the usual sense of hopelessness returned. That is until another shopper then spotted fresh fruit & vegetables actually in the fresh fruit & vegetable section.

More chaos ensued and the mood soon turned ugly. There was a brief lull in hostilities as customers paused to discuss ways to cook Aubergines, but the truce was short-lived and matters made even worse as an announcement came over the tannoy, that as a ‘special offer’ the store would have two tills open today as well as the self-service one with the spotty youth called Shane to help you pack.

Order was only restored after Police arrived and ordered the stores closure whilst paramedics dealt with the injured.  A red-faced Dave Prentiss, the stores 18yr old Manager, told The Candy Press that in future, such improvements would be phased in gradually over the year to allow customers time to acclimatise.