Here at your Candy Press we consider ourselves to be champions of free speech, press freedom and the death penalty for ITV’s Ant n’ Dec.
We have worked tirelessly to bring Islanders the news that matters to you, through thick and thin, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health (Get on with it. Ed.) To this end, we have so far turned a blind-eye to the irresponsible antics of our imitators, namely The Isle of Wight County Press.
But no longer: the gloves are now off and the final straw? Just check out the latest front page of the so-called ‘spoof’ newspaper. There you will find a story titled “Man freed from Window”. This was a story which originated here.
We didn’t run the story, as we considered it far too dull, unfunny and an insult to our readers. The Journalist responsible was instantly fired – not for the article, but for not standing his round at our local.
Despite this blatant poaching of our news, we now hear that officials from The County Press has taken exception to the true voice of the people and has had the temerity to imply we may be impersonating them!
We have now instructed our lawyers to issue a writ against the tawdry rag for deformation, breach of copyright and something else we have no idea how to spell.